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[07 Feb 2005|02:43pm]
Once in a while, I get in these really weird moods, where I think my life is going nowhere. So, in order to rectify the situation, I try to write an incredibly witty and poetic entry.

Sure, I'm a poetic person by nature, but I suppose the romance of writing is sucked out by the overall feel of livejournal. Oh, sure, I appreciate having this database, but mostly, it feels like one huge popularity contest that we've all entered with consent, of course.

Rating communities, fanbases, picture communities, ads for auctions- Blah. Is this what we've become? All actors in a huge commericial that we've given into? Selling ourselves, our belongings, our images, our thoughts?

See? This is how I get once in a while. It's my intellectual PMS.
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[07 Feb 2005|01:41pm]
Got back home about fourty minutes ago. Mum got me a heartshaped creampuff. How precious. I ate it. How stupid of me. I had about a cup of brown rice and veggies. I feel so sick now. Yes, yes complaining- again.

It was raining outside today as I walked to my hair. Normally, I like the rain, but when mascara isn't guaranteed as waterproof, a girl's gotta be cautious. But, it turned out all right. It was just too cold out to enjoy the rain, I suppose.

My little LJ got a makeover. I was bored last night.

I might play camera whore later if I get restless enough.

Wow, but thank god for PAPERS! Ugh, gross, I don't like papers one bit, missy. Procrastination- day ONE.
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[06 Feb 2005|10:24pm]

I think I'm getting sick- again. I ate too much- again. Does anyone else notice a pattern? Oh, well. It's back to school tomorrow. The highlight of my day was acting like a 12-year-old with Lauren. We made prank phone calls. Good god, it was hilarious, kickass fun.

Random picture:

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[05 Feb 2005|11:32pm]

It's been a really really weird day today. I'm going to bed. I ate too much shit. I sat on my ass all day. I basically felt like crap. Anti-social weekend, apparently. Just so this isn't just a text entry... here are pics. They're totally irrelevant. Amen.

I swear I'm not taking drugs. Really. I swear.

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[05 Feb 2005|09:31am]
NooooOOOoOOOO. Why am I awake now? It's freaking 9:31 AM. I've already managed to gobble down some sort of chocolate covered coconut cookie. Ha. I'm working in Chai now.

Going out with Lauren tonight to visit Jason and Anna, hopefully.

All right, the computer is messing up and deleting the font, so I don't know why I'm bothering.
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[04 Feb 2005|10:12am]
I have class at 11:00 today.
God, I'm in a good mood. I guess that's because it's Friday. And, I don't have to work this weekend. I successfully evaded my boss, who left a message, asking me to work this weekend. OooOps. Mwah. I knew what I was doing. Haha, sneaky. Yes, I'm lazy, but that's my right.

I went to the mall yesterday with Lauren and Shawn. I ended up getting free heart PANTIES from Victoria's Secret. How kickass are FREE panties? Ugh, yes, I AM a girlie-girl. I also used up my Express Gift Cards. I just bought a pair of jeans, which fit really well, by the way. I'm the pickiest person when it comes to buying jeans. They have to be long enough, the have to hug my butt, they have to hang low... Sheesh, I must be a nightmare.

Then, we all went to Barnes 'N Noble. I ended up following Shawn around the store walking like a monkey/retarded Hobbit. It was hilarious. I found a Curious George backpack that I MUST have. Oh, God, it's the cutest backpack ever. I would have gotten it on the spot, but it was $35. Sheesh. That must be one kickass backpack, eh?

I should find something to do tonight.

Did I mention I ended up throwing glitter all over Jason's bed when he wasn't in his room? Ah, I hope he like the surprise. Glitter is my new trademark. I should buy it in bulk, keep some in my purse, and throw it. FOREVER.

The End.
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[29 Jan 2005|11:16am]
I started second semester at college. Originally, I was supposed to take statistics, but I wasn't feeling it with the little man from India who would mumble incoherently and did his whole lecture with powerpoint. I couldn't understand his accent and the class was incredibly boring. Blah, leave it up to me to drop math for religion.
Lauren and I have two classes now together -> Short Fiction and Drama, Understanding Religion. I'm also taking a freshman writing seminar as well as Environmental Ethics.

We kinda sorta celebrated Jeremy's birthday last night. No one had planned anything in advance, and apparently, he was under the impression that we had this whole party planned. So, basically, I complained while Lauren got everything organized. Shawn came over, and we all went to Pick 'N Save to get supplies. I had previously spiked my hair up into a faux mohawk out of boredom and thus, I elicited some interesting reactions from people.

This stock boy started dancing behind my back when he saw me. I had turned around just in time to see his rather unusual, and unexpected jig. I wasn't really sure if it was meant to mock me or just because he felt like doing a jig.

Anywhoo, we ended up getting Jeremy a cake that read, "It's a Girl!" as well as a mini honey dipper, stickers with smiling balls (basketballs/footballs/etc.), books, and a stuffed animal in the shape of a fish.

And of course, we bought balloons, and of course Shawn insisted on making one in the shape of a giant dick. And of course we ended up putting splooge on the dick and chasing each other around with it. Ah, to be a young adult.

Jeremy came over, we hung out, went out to eat, got "Alien VS. Predator", and I might add that yes, I didn't sit through the whole movie. I felt my intelligence wasting away considering the movie was poorly written and entirely predictable. I went to bed early. Hmmph.

Ummm... Anna is going to pick Lauren and me up today! We're going down to Milwaukee to her dorm room. I'll get to visit Jason, Peter, and Dibb all at the same time. Kickass.
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[20 Jan 2005|05:34pm]

Here's a link to some of my hair... stuff:


I suppose I should post a billion more pictures. Mwah!

For those of you coming from MRH to see more of my hair, here you go:


Doink doink DoinkCollapse )

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[09 Jan 2005|09:21pm]

So, I started a raw food diet. I was inspirired by Miss Jillian Ann, who has become my new obsession. She's such a gorgeous person- inside and out. It's quite evident through her photographs, but perhaps even more evident through her musings expressed in prose. God, she's amazing.

My body feels really pure- er, felt really pure. I had two doughnuts, which was really stupid on my part. It's like my body automatically knew I was doing something wrong, and I immediately felt ill after chowing down the last doughnut.

Good news, though. I auditioned for another agency. I'm too fucking lazy to actually elaborate on the numerous details, but basically, one of my former instructors at the center left in order to create a new agency with her friend. She invited several of the other models to audition for the agency. It's kinda a sneaky thing because once the other models and I graduate, we're supposed to sign with MTM, and not any other company. Well, it's more like MTM is the main agency we should depend on- kinda along the lines of a mother agency. So, Sabrina's new agency is kinda sneaking in on the girls. Her partner really liked my look, which in turn presents an awesome opportunity for me, especially since the agency is just starting out. I'll stand out amongst the other models. They're less focused on the Milwaukee market and more focused on the high fashion marker in Chicago, which is awesome for me.

My mom doesn't exactly know what's going on. I didn't want to scare her and make her think that we wasted all that money planning to learn at the center and sign up with MTM. I'll reveal more to her later.

Oh, by the way, I hate driving around in Milwaukee. Ironically, I didn't get lost going there, I got lost trying to get home. I ended up driving around for about 40 minutes, ready to burst into tears, but I called Jas and she helped me out. Bwah! Jas is like a long lost grade school friend to me.

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[06 Jan 2005|01:06am]

Bloody hell.

I'm so fucking confused about everything.

My body- what is it? Just a shell? A box? A temple? Do I starve myself? Do I eat right? Who am I supposed to be pleasing? Certainly not myself. Someone has to tell me what to do. What if someone just stepped up to me and said, Lose some weight, you fat whore. What would I do?

You know what's funny? I know that I'm going to waste the entire winter break away- and I think I'm okay with that right now. Ha. Sad, but... entirely endearing, don't you think?

So much  has happened lately. I suppose it's time for a hint of a proper update.

So, Lauren's birthday went well. I ended up getting pissed while getting lost in the streets of Milwaukee. Who knew that a one way street could change direction while you're drivinv down the middle of it? She wanted to find this one hippie/indie store that had a stand at Summerfest. I fucking looked it up online, got directions, got lost, got angry, and ended up trying to control my anger all because it was Lauren's birthday. I know this may sound selfish, but I think she got a bit lazy and used her birthday as an excuse not to do anything for her birthday. She gave me the whole Oh, you can plan the entire day deal. Hey, I like planning stuff, but it's annoying when you have to think of everything and do everything without any help. But I loooooooooove her all the same.

So, right after that, Shawn's birthday was on New Year's Eve. We ended up renting a hotel room and surprising him. Jeremy was in on the deal, too. Of course, no one's parents had/have any idea that we got a hotel room. Now, here's a list of some events that occured:

-I got my period right before we left for the hotel. I got moody, hungry, sweaty, cramps... Ah, yes, that was FUN. I absolutely refused to get into a bikini for the pool because first of all, there's no way in hell I'm getting into a bikini during my period; unless of course, it's for a modeling job, but, keep in mind, that stuff pays. And second, tampons and I... well, we don't mix.

-Sleeping with Jeremy... meaning next to him in the same bed was awful. He snores, grinds his teeth, kicks, and overtakes the bed. He also hit me several times in his sleep. On several occassions, I had to tell him to move over... away from me. It's hard enough always being paired up with him, and him thinking I want to get together. Never again.... Or, no sleeping together for a very long time. I only put up with him for Shawn's sake.

-Lauren and I had previously gone to the dollar store, where we bought loads of crap to give to Shawn. Hah, great stuff.

-I got up at 9:00 the following morning, deciding that annoying Lauren and Shawn to the point where they could no longer sleep was the only way to convince them to get home. I just didn't want to be there anymore.


Oh, and by the way, we missed New Year's. Lauren checked the clock and said, Uh, guys? You know we missed New Year's? It's 12:10. Ah, classic.

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[22 Dec 2004|05:53pm]

Here's some more normal pics:


CutterCollapse )

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[22 Dec 2004|05:49pm]

Ugh, I ate too much. Mac and cheese is evil.


Someone hand me a credit card so I can join Suicide Girls. Yeah, my mother would love that.

New pics:


Suicide Girls... I love theeCollapse )

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[27 Oct 2004|10:09pm]
I just figured out how unhappy I am.
I'm wasting my life.
I don't like my college.
I hate all the fucking snots and boring bitches.
I need to get away from here.
I hate this.
I hate all of my classes.
I don't want to major in journalism anymore.
I want to design clothing.
I don't think I'm good enough or serious enough to enroll in a fashion design school.
I hate it here.
I'm scared of leaving.
I can't fucking find any of the college directory books.
I can't find what I'm looking for online.
I'm fucking wasting my time.
I'm fucking wasting my time.
I'm fucking wasting my life.
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[28 Sep 2004|06:13pm]
So much shit has happened.
So much good stuff too.
I'm currently a working model.
I'm currently falling apart.
Oh, hell, I don't know anymore.
I'm not even sure what happiness is.
Am I happy?
Or just satisfied?
What's the difference?
Would I really care if I died tomorrow?
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[06 Sep 2004|01:21pm]
It was the most awkward.
most anticipated.
and certainly one of the most pleasurable
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[26 Aug 2004|05:20pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

Off to another week of class. This session is about nutrition and exercise. Michelle told me that we work out to some Richard Simmons tapes. Oh, dear god.

I totally fabricated a fake food journal. Oh yes, my heart is totally in it.

I went to Goodwill with my mom today. I ended up getting some adorable pieces. The total was only $27.00 I can't wait to wash those babies! Then, I can really piece all the looks together. After we went to Goodwill, we stopped off at an antique store. I found an adorable petticoat there. And of course, it didn't have a pricetag on it! So, the woman told me her boss would give her the price when she comes back into town NEXT WEEK. Argh, oh well. I'm not paying more than $15.00 for it.

I had the best fucking New York Cherry icecream today- in a chocolate dipped waffle cone! Ha, that's right. Aw, fuck it. I'm screwing myself over, aren't I?

Weee, birthday on Saturday!

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[25 Aug 2004|08:33pm]
Ugh, why why why??? I ate three meals today. It was so fucking stupid. I wasn't even hungry when I ate the third meal. I just thought I was!

I received my order from ALLOY today. Everything was super cute, except the pants. The fit like shit around my hips. The pants went all the way up to my waist and whole the inseam deal was fucked up. So... of course I operated on them! Mwah! My mom probably wouldn't be too happy to know that I just slashed up and literally cut them apart. Oh well. I'll post pictures of them later.

I also did a DIY deal on the messenger bag I got the other day.

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[23 Aug 2004|09:20pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Shawn, Lauren, and I went to Gurnee Mills today. Dude, I realized I'm a BAD driver. I didn't know which side my gas tank was. I had to repark next to the pump. I also left the car running while I made Shawn pump the gas. Haha. Dude, I'm such a fucking idiot.

Oh, and just before I forget- I almost died today. This car was merging onto the road from the freeway and they starting swerving into to my lane and almost hit my car! I jerked the wheel and beat the horn with my palm. Unfortunately, there was a car nearby that I almost hit because of my swerving action. It ended up being a chorus of beeps. That fucker booked it after being a fucking asshole.

I came home withhhhh:
-An adorable cord messenger bag from... get this... THE GAP! Bwah. I had a gift card and I wanted to get rid of it. But, I wasn't going to be a fucking "moral" idiot by throwing the money away. I decided an outlet store would be the best option. The bag is adorable- so there.
-Man-made brown ankle boots that feel like slippers. They have a fake sherpa lining.
-A brown skully with purty pink ribbon.

I also:
-pet a huge ass snake. Reptiles are surprisingly warm, believe it or not. It's funny now that I think about it. A year ago, I would have been freaked out by just getting close to a snake- as in making sure I'm at least five feet away from it. Today, I just walked right up to it and started petting it. Weeee...
-convinced Lauren and Shawn that eating at the Rainforest Cafe would be fun. I made sure to include the fact that we didn't actually have to EAT; we could just order smoothies and stare at fish for a while. The waiter ended up being adorable! Lauren said he reminded her of Jude Law. He had an AUSTRALIAN accent. How cute! Lauren was a sucker and opted for cheese sticks. The bill ended up being $30.00 So much for just drinks.
-We claimed fish that best suited our individual personalities. I ended up being a porcupine puffer fish. Haha. Shawn was some sort of spikey fish. Lauren was a bright blue fish with a huge-ass long nose. My fish and Shawn's kept racing one another around the tank. They did the same thing everytime they came around. Talk about creatures of habit.
My fish would continually run into the wall and have to back up everytime, closely following the perimeter of the glass. Shawn's would chase my fish, swim up, then down. He ran into a bunch of other fish one lap and freaked out. It was hilarious. Only we could be amused by fish for an hour.

So, it was a good day for me.

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[22 Aug 2004|08:46pm]
Ah, I feel free. That whole "nonuglyqueerkids" community was annoying the hell out of me. First, they complain there aren't enough "natural" pictures of me. Then, I post more "natural" pictures, and they change their mind AGAIN. Aw, fuck it. I honestly don't want to be judged by ugly fuckers anyway.

I just deleted the application. Whoo! No more rating communities.

I was accused of trying too hard. Um, I wear a lot of makeup AND I LIKE dressing up for no apparent reason. Sheesh. I wear combat boots and eyeliner to drop movies off. I feel so happy.

Shawn and Jeremy are over... again.
I ate a lot today.
God, I feel so fucking sick.
The End.
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[22 Aug 2004|01:55am]
Ahhhhhhhhh. Why am I trying out for all these rating communities?

Well, punk_makeup is cool because you just have to prove that you're into the style of makeup that the community is based upon.
But now, I've gone on this crazy ride. I've begun to apply to all these fucking rating communities because people keep leaving invites.
Now, I'm all nervous and fucking self-conscious.
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