I'm so fucking confused about everything.
My body- what is it? Just a shell? A box? A temple? Do I starve myself? Do I eat right? Who am I supposed to be pleasing? Certainly not myself. Someone has to tell me what to do. What if someone just stepped up to me and said, Lose some weight, you fat whore. What would I do?
You know what's funny? I know that I'm going to waste the entire winter break away- and I think I'm okay with that right now. Ha. Sad, but... entirely endearing, don't you think?
So much has happened lately. I suppose it's time for a hint of a proper update.
So, Lauren's birthday went well. I ended up getting pissed while getting lost in the streets of Milwaukee. Who knew that a one way street could change direction while you're drivinv down the middle of it? She wanted to find this one hippie/indie store that had a stand at Summerfest. I fucking looked it up online, got directions, got lost, got angry, and ended up trying to control my anger all because it was Lauren's birthday. I know this may sound selfish, but I think she got a bit lazy and used her birthday as an excuse not to do anything for her birthday. She gave me the whole Oh, you can plan the entire day deal. Hey, I like planning stuff, but it's annoying when you have to think of everything and do everything without any help. But I loooooooooove her all the same.
So, right after that, Shawn's birthday was on New Year's Eve. We ended up renting a hotel room and surprising him. Jeremy was in on the deal, too. Of course, no one's parents had/have any idea that we got a hotel room. Now, here's a list of some events that occured:
-I got my period right before we left for the hotel. I got moody, hungry, sweaty, cramps... Ah, yes, that was FUN. I absolutely refused to get into a bikini for the pool because first of all, there's no way in hell I'm getting into a bikini during my period; unless of course, it's for a modeling job, but, keep in mind, that stuff pays. And second, tampons and I... well, we don't mix.
-Sleeping with Jeremy... meaning next to him in the same bed was awful. He snores, grinds his teeth, kicks, and overtakes the bed. He also hit me several times in his sleep. On several occassions, I had to tell him to move over... away from me. It's hard enough always being paired up with him, and him thinking I want to get together. Never again.... Or, no sleeping together for a very long time. I only put up with him for Shawn's sake.
-Lauren and I had previously gone to the dollar store, where we bought loads of crap to give to Shawn. Hah, great stuff.
-I got up at 9:00 the following morning, deciding that annoying Lauren and Shawn to the point where they could no longer sleep was the only way to convince them to get home. I just didn't want to be there anymore.
Oh, and by the way, we missed New Year's. Lauren checked the clock and said, Uh, guys? You know we missed New Year's? It's 12:10. Ah, classic.